Serenity NOW!

Serenity NOW!”

 

The scenes of Frank Costanza in Seinfeld screaming his mantra are ones that always make me laugh. I have personal knowledge with the frustration and inherent irony one feels screaming this aloud when change doesn’t come as quickly as we wish. This moment included.

 

It’s now been close to a year since I relocated to Washington DC and little about my life has changed. I’m still looking for work. I’m still living with my dad, sleeping on my twin-sized mattress that gives my back fits. I’m still trying to establish myself in a city that simply can’t be bothered with some piddling piece of humanity like me. Life feels as if it’s passing me by… Serenity Now!

 

It’s hot; I’m sweaty, and the days and hours lacking any clear purpose stretch out like those introductory paragraphs in the original Star Wars films. Serenity Now! Serenity Now! I smack a mosquito that dared land on my arm, its devilish buzzing the source of its fatal undoing. The thought of preparing supper on an evening as hot as this makes me frown. The spectre of eating something my father prepares is even worse. Did you know we have five, count ‘em five, pork loins in the freezer because each time he goes to CostCo he brings home another couple, having forgotten we already have a full supply. Serenity Now! Serenity Now!

 

What’s a girl to do?

 

Had any moments like this? Made all the more annoying because we’ve read all the blah blah about how to be zen and calm and mature about life circumstances when what we really want to do is vent and get drunk. This, too, shall pass, we remind ourselves. Or, as I saw painted on a piece of artwork proudly displayed on a house tour: this to shall pass. Serenity Now! Serenity Now!

 

Except, getting drunk doesn’t help. It only leaves us feeling crappy, looking haggard, and with bags under our eyes. Horrified, we wonder if they’ll ever recede—a harbinger of things to come??? A cleanse! A detoxifying facial mask! A new purse will set things right. But before committing to purchases we can’t afford, we catch ourselves. Hold on, we admonish lovingly. It’s not that bad. You’ll get through this. Just breathe.

 

So, I head downstairs to defrost that damn pork loin.

 

Serenity Now.

 

God, I hope I’m not alone.

Advertisements

Tags: , , ,

One Response to “Serenity NOW!”

  1. grasshopper Says:

    of course you’re not alone! it’s in times like you describe, that I remind myself, it’s always good to be feeling something, even if it’s not necessarily our preferred emotion. Frustration, feeling down, or even anxiety can also be seen as positive, in the sense that it means we’re alive. Being alive means experiencing the full spectrum of emotions, they all have their time and place…the key is to try to move on from them as quickly as possible. But sometimes I find a day of wallowing in frustation or the blues can be as cathartic as anything. We can’t always be sunshine and roses, and serenity can’t be our mantra 24/7. Besides, the serenity will be all the more appreciated after tossing a couple of plates. Phone books can be a nice alternative that require less clean-up. 🙂 In this case, I suspect you’ll be cooking the bee-jeezers out of those pork chops!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: