In Your Face!

Part and parcel of any motivation to re-boot is the desire to make sense of what is happening to us. If we didn’t care, if we didn’t want to figure this stuff out, we wouldn’t be re-booting. Alas, we all know people who seem to drift through their lives, content to proclaim themselves Helpless Victims of Fate, uninterested or afraid of making sense of what’s going on, or oblivious to the possibility that things could be better, calmer, more rational, less unhappy. But, in order to improve your life, you must expend dedicated time and effort examining it, asking some hard questions, and sussing out what you might change about yourself.

Attention K-Mart Shoppers! The most significant life lessons you are here to master are those that are put in your immediate surroundings. Think: life circumstances, health and money issues, coworkers, your family.



Sorry, kids, but that’s the deal. The people, places, and immediate challenges have been put before you for a reason. Nothing happens by accident. The stork didn’t drop you off down the wrong chimney. You didn’t just stumble into the career you have even though it might feel that way. The chronic condition which impedes some of your activities has value. That amazing person you met years ago who you’ve never forgotten—it’s on purpose. The unrelenting sense of competition/irritation you have with your neighbor. The Universe specifically sent you these experiences because you need to learn something from them.

But, I don’t want to learn more,” you whine. “I’ve learned enough.” No, you haven’t. There’s always more to master.

I’m sympathetic; I am. Trust me, when I take a macro look at my life, I shudder. Seriously? Am I so deficient in my life learning that I’ve come to a point where I had to lose my job, have a highly valued relationship blow up in my face, up-end the life I’d created, and move back into the bedroom I had when I was twelve? And how am I supposed to manage all this, find a new career, forge new relationships a continent  away from where I was, all the while keeping my spirits up and retaining what little remains of my dignity? That, my friends, screams Life Lessons.

The good news is that, despite all of the above, I now carry an undercurrent of confidence that, somehow, I can get through this. I’m wiser and stronger and more self-assured now than I was three years ago, so that’s progress, right? I know I can lend a hand or encouraging word to others who are struggling because I’ve been there—that’s good, too. I’ve even managed to find new ways to think about things in order to prevent my father from driving me crazy. Hmm. Well, maybe I’ve learned more than I realized. Maybe there’s something to this mastery of immediate challenges.

Now, what about you?

Oh, no,” you protest, “I don’t want to do this. This sucks. I’m not going to read your stupid blog anymore.” You put your hands over your ears and sing loudly. Well, too bad. This post is all about tough love.

The Universe is not subtle; it can’t afford to be because we’re all so mulish that unless what we need to learn is right, smack in our faces with no room for escape, we will find a way to avoid dealing with it. What’s staring you in the face? Right now. Because there’s something or someone, and probably both.

Take a deep breath. Trust that you can figure this out. You are capable of finding a better way to manage this issue. Before going to sleep, why not try asking yourself, “What’s the ideal solution to my predicament?”

Kids, if you don’t tackle this now, it’ll only come back to bite you in the butt later on. This is part of your life’s work; check your contract.


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