This Has Nothing To Do With The Election!

Ok, enough is enough with this FaceBook business! Honestly! So, today I go to my email and up pops an ad notifying me that 3 people have de-friended me and I can get an app to track down who they are. What?!? Who needs this consternation? So, of course, now paranoid and riled up, I log onto my FB page to see if I can figure out who is no longer amongst my friends and who I may have unintentionally offended enough to click me into oblivion.


How in the world does this targeted solicitation enhance my life? Now, I get to feel rejected by 3 mysterious people who the ad claims have dropped me. And, to compound my reaction, I’m annoyed with myself for being upset! All this angst over a social media website I rarely visit and people I don’t communicate with. Is this the sort of thing they do in Scientology?


Good grief. The whole thing is ridiculous. You’d think, what with me being an expert Re-booter sharing my insights and struggles with the masses (ok, well, maybe 15 occasional readers) that I would now be wise enough and serene enough to ignore sinister notices alerting me to the hordes fleeing my association. Re-booters are resilient! Re-booters are savvy and confident and wear good shoes! They don’t do things like fret over messages that warn me them about their rapidly diminishing social status.


So, what happens next? Do I need to scale back on my purchase of Christmas cards? A Re-booter wouldn’t do that. A Re-booter would confidently move on with her day, drinking two litres of water, exercising vigorously, and eating more fish and quinoa rather than munching on leftover Halloween candy and wondering when that movie on the Hallmark Channel is starting.


But, if a Re-booter were to behave that way, it probably isn’t a surprise that 3 of her erstwhile FaceBook friends de-friended her. Hmm.


I guess I don’t get it—well, it’s not so much of a guess as it is hard core knowledge. I don’t get the whole allure of FB and updates on people’s statuses. Yes, it is a great way to keep in touch, I suppose, but my brain simply cannot handle the barrage of Likes and Comments and Photos and Endorsements that accompany FB or LinkedIn or what have you. Not to mention the fact that I’m thrown off when informed that CDs are “old school.” How can this be? I must cling to my CD player even more tightly because it’s the only thing that plays mixed tapes anymore…


But Re-booters wouldn’t act this way. Re-booters would readily have mastered the newest alternative to CDs. Re-booters would wholly embrace LinkedIn as a fantastic tool of World Domination and invitations to mixers.


Maybe I should start a blog for Lapsed Re-booters. Re-booters who failed to find the start button and got de-friended as a result. I should learn from Honeybadger.


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2 Responses to “This Has Nothing To Do With The Election!”

  1. Julianne Crispin Says:

    So true, Rett and funny too!

  2. grasshopper Says:

    Honey badger is awesome. We should all learn from him….

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