A Rebooter Refresher

I think it’s worth a post to review and remind everyone what I mean when I talk about re-booting one’s life. Sometimes, when exploring our hydra-headed existence, it can be easy to lose sight of what the main point is—at least according to this blog. So here goes.

When I think about re-booting, what I am referring to is the personal acknowledgement that something fundamental about our life isn’t working the way we want it to; this can be anything from an entire life upheaval such as that triggered by a loss of a job or relationship or physical health to a far more abstruse wanting to make things better in our daily existence. No matter where you fall in this range of identifiable disconsternation, you are reading this blog because you know that it is up to you to do something to improve your experience.

All I can share with you comes from my personal experience. What I found with this need to re-boot is that, over the course of the past handful of years, as I watched the spectre of my life imploding approaching ever more quickly and with more certainty, I grew terrified, confused, angry, bewildered, and bereft. What was wrong in my life was really wrong, but how I had arrived at this point was unclear to me because I thought I had done everything as right as I possibly thought I could. Paralyzed, I didn’t see a way to avoid what was going to happen and knew I’d have to endure that dark tunnel before I could ever escape it—all this, despite being an honest and honorable, if flawed, person. Hey, bad things happen to all of us.

So, when everything went South for me, I first had to triage and cope with the immediate aftermath—the re-booting comes later. Once I survived that first stage of shock and grief, after the initial smoke cleared and I could coherently link Point A to Point B (although I was not in a place where I could do much more than that), I had a conversation with myself about how I wanted to live my life and who I wanted to be going forward. This is the re-booting.

Now, hopefully, for many of you, you will never need to undergo such a spectacular and comprehensive re-booting process, but this doesn’t mean that whatever it is about your life that is unsatisfactory isn’t as pressing or important as my thundercloud and lightning bolt dramaturgy. Because, the truth of the matter is, our struggles are important to us and be they large or small, they can impact our daily lives and those of the people around us—people we care deeply about. But it is up to each one of us to figure out what we can do to make things better in our lives—you wouldn’t be reading this blog if you weren’t attracted to this philosophy.

But first, in order to begin this re-booting process so it has even a shot of being successful, we must start by identifying with our strengths and our virtues, not our problems.  We build from strength, not weakness. Whatever problem or discontent you have, this is where you need to start: what is going right in your life? What talents and capabilities do you have that you know you can trust and rely on, that (in your most private moments) you are proud of?

Only by starting from this point do you have a shot at making other aspects of your existence better.

My next post will delve a bit more into the steps that follow. 

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