Springing into a Re-booting Regimen

Although those lucky few who live in the perfection that is Santa Barbara wouldn’t know that spring has sprung, those of us in DC and elsewhere are beginning to tempt fate by putting away our snow shovels and heavy sweaters. Turning our faces towards the sun, we wait in eager anticipation of the cherry blossoms. (Actually, as I write this, the ground is covered with a light dusting of snow wrought from a leaden grey sky, but I have a vivid imagination.) Our blissed out West Coast readers notwithstanding, spring is the time for rebirth and renewal all under the trusty umbrella of Re-booting! Carpe diem, baby!


Folk wisdom and advice columns are filled with traditions of spring cleaning and I now join their chorus. (I should tell you that I feel righteous enough to say these things because I am oozing with virtue, being on day six of a ten day smoothie cleanse.) It’s time to get your ass in gear and commit to tackling one of those projects you’ve been putting off. Maybe it’s your taxes or an exercise program or getting your brakes checked–maybe it’s something more. But, you’ve gotta start sometime, right?


Regular DR readers know that this blog is all about starting over, but, mostly in a different manner than we are accustomed to thinking about such things. The need to re-boot exists in one way or another for every adult out there. Even if our life situation is fairly stable and happy, each of us has something that leaves us wanting. We want to do better. We want to feel better. We want to fill that hole, whatever it may be. Sometimes but not always, filling that hole requires huge changes such as walking away from aspects of our lives in which we’re heavily (but unhappily) invested—relationships, careers, our expectations (about ourselves or others). Other times we may be required to accommodate change we didn’t choose—chronic physical ailments, death, job loss, or the disintegration of an important relationship. But, whatever form it takes, change comes. Always. It’s what we do about it that makes the difference between a re-booter and someone who’s too terrified to try. Where do you fall on this spectrum?


Spoiler alert! There’s never a “right” time to begin the re-booting process and, fyi, you’ll never fully finish. Re-booting takes a lifetime. This process requires the commitment and dedication to figuring out a better way of being WHO WE TRULY ARE, which means we have to 1) ask ourselves some difficult and sometimes painful questions and 2) summon the courage to move closer to what those answers tell us. (Who wouldn’t want to stall when you put it that way?!?)


The problem with stalling is that we can spend our entire lives putting off the answers we know lurk within, when those answers can only make our lives better. Deep down, everyone longs to be true to themselves. How true are you? Seeking the answer doesn’t have to mean launching an entirely different career or getting rid of a dead weight spouse–it can mean finding a better way of coping with a difficult relationship that’s not going to change. I’m not here to advocate for a heave-ho of your entire life (which is sort of what I did with mine), but I am here to use examples of my struggles to give you courage to tackle yours.


Ok, so here’s how I’m going to tie the re-booting process into the spring theme for today’s post. I want you to think about flowers. Floral bulbs have nothing much to recommend themselves. They’re dry and papery and pretty nondescript—they all look pretty much alike. We never truly know what we’re getting with a bulb, and the only way to find out is to stick it in the dirt and wait. But, at some point, while it’s buried, an impetus gets triggered and the little bud begins to push its little head towards the sun. It’s still too early to tell what it will be, but the signs are there. That’s you, right now. There’s a part of you that’s caught in that dirt, unable to squash your urge to push your head above ground. I’m here to provide a sprinkling of water to lubricate the process.


What are you struggling with right now?

What do you wish?


My blog is here to encourage you forward. I post this stuff week after week because it’s something I struggle with, too. Everybody wrestles with this stuff. I don’t care how old you are or how accomplished or how much your life is a hot mess. If you are trying to figure things out and trying to find a better way of approaching some very human problems, I am here to assure you that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.


Ok, so, we’ll work on more specific issues in another post, but for now I wanted to provide a review of what Dignitary’s Retreat is all about. At some point, we have to set the navel gazing aside and GET IT DONE. Whatever it is you’re thinking about, spring’s as good a time as any to roll up your sleeves and pull the weeds up from their roots. Let’s spring forward together; I’m here to lend a helping hand…

 cherry blossoms


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