Posts Tagged ‘leaf blowers’

Hope Springs Eternal (or the Plight of Charlie Brown and the Football)

November 19, 2015

So, out of desperation and frustration from yet another dead end beginning, I acquiesced and joined one of those online dating services. As regular readers of this blog have read, from coast to coast, friends have been trying to cajole me out of my writerly cave, urging me to dip my toe back into the dating waters. I have resisted mightily for a variety of reasons–previous lackluster performance amongst them. Nonetheless, life is short and I was bored, so I signed up (with a pretty good user name, fyi, which you do not get to know).

 

About a week into it, what entertains me the most is the men who send me messages saying we have so much in common, despite the fact that I’ve yet to compose my profile! Can they just “tell” from my photo that I’m the dynamic and alluring woman of their dreams? Has this strategy worked in the past? Do women believe such piffle? My guess would be yes to all three… And then, I laugh at myself because of the three profiles that have caught my attention thus far, it would be hard to select candidates more inaccessible. Two of the three apparently consider themselves so desirable that they needn’t bother posting photos at all, yet have requested more than one from me as they consider my appeal without asking anything about me. WTF? And then, there’s one (I swiped left) who was upfront about the fact that he and his wife have, uh, greatly varying libidos, so they decided to have an open marriage with no plans to divorce for now. “It isn’t too terrible yet,” he writes, hoping to recruit some interest. Yowza! While I give him credit for being upfront, I wonder how the wife would feel if she were to read his equanimous prose?

 

See all the fun you’re missing? Aren’t you jealous of my life?

 

But the fun isn’t limited just to me, I have a friend in Cali who was sitting at a nice hotel bar when this fellow told her he really wanted to know her better and began peppering her with questions such as what did she buy at CostCo? What sort of cheese did she like? And, when she refused to answer his question of who was more her type—Justin Timberlake or Ryan Gosling—insisted that she tell him what her ultimate “seduction music” would be to lure in the man of her dreams? (I hadn’t ever thought about seduction music, maybe that’s my problem.)

 

I can feel your jealousy radiating through the laptop.

 

The way I see it, if we don’t laugh, we’d cry. Nevertheless, this little laugh fest does have many elements that remind me of poor old Charlie Brown and that football the miserable Lucy holds out for him. (While I identify with Charlie, my brother insists I’m far closer to Lucy. Thanks, bro, really super nice.) But, whether it’s dating or something else, we all have our moments of feeling like poor, beleaguered Charlie.

 

What is something Charlie-esque in your life that you can laugh about?

 

Cultivating humor about ourselves, our struggles, and life’s inanities is key to any successful re-booting. Just the other day I stared, mouth agape, as my dad went about the front yard doing “yard work.” His approach is perplexing to say the least. There he was, standing in his wingtips and a pair of khakis so disgusting they should be condemned, using a leaf blower that could easily be confused for a hair dryer and aiming it at one leaf at a time, which he then blew into the street! He did this for hours (and on a windy day, to boot). Now, had this been a professional yard service, I’d complain, but because it’s my dad, I have to hope someone else will

 

BTW, I’m certain you do something equally ridiculous, but it’s between us. Ferme la bouche. My lips are zipped.

 

Ok, so this will be a shorter post because my point is made. Gotta laugh at yourself while relentlessly giving life the old college try. It feels pointless and confounding and embarrassing, but what else do we have left? So, here’s to hope, be that finding Mr. Magic or blowing a single leaf into the street. May the force be with us all…

Lucy football

 


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