Posts Tagged ‘sense of humor’

Hope Springs Eternal (or the Plight of Charlie Brown and the Football)

November 19, 2015

So, out of desperation and frustration from yet another dead end beginning, I acquiesced and joined one of those online dating services. As regular readers of this blog have read, from coast to coast, friends have been trying to cajole me out of my writerly cave, urging me to dip my toe back into the dating waters. I have resisted mightily for a variety of reasons–previous lackluster performance amongst them. Nonetheless, life is short and I was bored, so I signed up (with a pretty good user name, fyi, which you do not get to know).

 

About a week into it, what entertains me the most is the men who send me messages saying we have so much in common, despite the fact that I’ve yet to compose my profile! Can they just “tell” from my photo that I’m the dynamic and alluring woman of their dreams? Has this strategy worked in the past? Do women believe such piffle? My guess would be yes to all three… And then, I laugh at myself because of the three profiles that have caught my attention thus far, it would be hard to select candidates more inaccessible. Two of the three apparently consider themselves so desirable that they needn’t bother posting photos at all, yet have requested more than one from me as they consider my appeal without asking anything about me. WTF? And then, there’s one (I swiped left) who was upfront about the fact that he and his wife have, uh, greatly varying libidos, so they decided to have an open marriage with no plans to divorce for now. “It isn’t too terrible yet,” he writes, hoping to recruit some interest. Yowza! While I give him credit for being upfront, I wonder how the wife would feel if she were to read his equanimous prose?

 

See all the fun you’re missing? Aren’t you jealous of my life?

 

But the fun isn’t limited just to me, I have a friend in Cali who was sitting at a nice hotel bar when this fellow told her he really wanted to know her better and began peppering her with questions such as what did she buy at CostCo? What sort of cheese did she like? And, when she refused to answer his question of who was more her type—Justin Timberlake or Ryan Gosling—insisted that she tell him what her ultimate “seduction music” would be to lure in the man of her dreams? (I hadn’t ever thought about seduction music, maybe that’s my problem.)

 

I can feel your jealousy radiating through the laptop.

 

The way I see it, if we don’t laugh, we’d cry. Nevertheless, this little laugh fest does have many elements that remind me of poor old Charlie Brown and that football the miserable Lucy holds out for him. (While I identify with Charlie, my brother insists I’m far closer to Lucy. Thanks, bro, really super nice.) But, whether it’s dating or something else, we all have our moments of feeling like poor, beleaguered Charlie.

 

What is something Charlie-esque in your life that you can laugh about?

 

Cultivating humor about ourselves, our struggles, and life’s inanities is key to any successful re-booting. Just the other day I stared, mouth agape, as my dad went about the front yard doing “yard work.” His approach is perplexing to say the least. There he was, standing in his wingtips and a pair of khakis so disgusting they should be condemned, using a leaf blower that could easily be confused for a hair dryer and aiming it at one leaf at a time, which he then blew into the street! He did this for hours (and on a windy day, to boot). Now, had this been a professional yard service, I’d complain, but because it’s my dad, I have to hope someone else will

 

BTW, I’m certain you do something equally ridiculous, but it’s between us. Ferme la bouche. My lips are zipped.

 

Ok, so this will be a shorter post because my point is made. Gotta laugh at yourself while relentlessly giving life the old college try. It feels pointless and confounding and embarrassing, but what else do we have left? So, here’s to hope, be that finding Mr. Magic or blowing a single leaf into the street. May the force be with us all…

Lucy football

 

Fitting in with Google Demographics

November 7, 2013

In a world where there are no secrets anymore and the NSA listens in on all our communications, it’s reassuring to know that “they” still don’t have a total grasp on their subjects. Recently, Google demographic experts proclaimed that I am approximately 20 years older than my biological age, which makes me chuckle. Does this reflect well upon me or poorly? Am I wise beyond my years or a fussbudget whose Internet browsing tastes and deficit of social media knowledge skew towards the horse n buggy crowd? Google’s probably not all wrong in their assessment; I think I’ve always related to an older group—maybe that’s because I’ve never quite fit in with my chronological peers or I simply have tastes and preferences that slot me into another category. Who knows why they made this determination? Google has teams of experts pouring over the trail left behind by my electronic habits. They must have their reasons, right?

 

In a way, learning that I come across as a generation older than I am has provided me with a certain amount of comfort. Those teenage years where “everyone” liked to hang out in groups at the mall or were mortified to be seen with their parents—that wasn’t me. I was this strange creature who liked her parents’ company, listened to classical music, and found the mall scene to be vaguely disturbing as a teenage rite of passage. As the years progressed, I still seemed to steer clear of the normal activities for my peer group—no going to night clubs or pulling all nighters, no group house rentals for spring or summer vacations, no concert t-shirts of indie bands. None of the ordinary signs that I was in lock step with my peers. I didn’t do this on purpose, as some sort of rebellion, it was just who I was. Often times, though, it left me feeling somewhat lonely because I just didn’t fit in. I looked at all my peers, doing the things they were “supposed” to be doing, having fun, hanging out, you name it–and then, there was me.

 

When have you felt like you didn’t fit in with your natural group?

 

Of course, everyone has experiences of outsider status. The nerdy kid, the fatty, the one whose last name is hard to pronounce, the one who never gets the in-jokes, the kid who talks too much or tries too hard. No matter who we are, what our story is, whether the captain of the team or sometimes-member of the Energy Club, we all know what it’s like to feel lonely.

 

Fortunately, as we grow and mature, we develop coping skills and a sense of humor to get through such moments. We learn to appreciate solitude or find ways to manage outsized expectations about how much we will enjoy certain social interactions. We find ways to cobble together a network of people who resonate with our little quirks. But, what happens when some of these friendships change such that Google would put the participants in different demographic groups? What do we do when what fit us before has been outgrown?

 

Shifting interests and priorities happen to all of us, of course. We all know stories of spouses or friends who grow apart, or the sad instances where they may stay together, technically, but the isolation is as lonely as it can be for a shut-in. Finding a place in life where we feel we “belong” is an interesting challenge because it is so universal. For some folks, it’s something to be feared and avoided at all costs, but re-booters come prepared. We know this is a key part of our life’s evolution and we believe in the possibility that we can create for ourselves a reality where we do fit—no matter how deviant from Google’s models we may be. They don’t know everything at Google, no matter what they say. A re-booter has sufficient faith in him or herself to recognize that whenever a so-called expert decrees, “this is the norm,” and we don’t fit it, they haven’t taken in enough data points to account for us and our re-booting brethren. Hey, when you think about it like this, maybe we’re not so alone, after all…


%d bloggers like this: